Sometimes them Asians get it right. Tentacles are the future of porn! 


The Asian horror scene was really big in the United States in the 2000's. Mainly because we were making recycled shit. The horror moves in Asian had a different way of scaring us. Like most of these movies they're revenge stories or pissed off souls. Ringu to this day is considered one of the scariest movies ever. I'm sorry, those subtitles are to much for my pea sized American brain.

  So remake it! 

Yeah we remade it and already decent movies were gang banged by Hollywood. What we got was weak execution but solid stories. Of all of these I will admit, The Ring is one of my favorites; but what about Shutter? People often forget about this Thai film that got gang raped by, not just Hollywood, but by India three different times! This movie made it's money, but was buried under "Horton Hears a Who" and "Meet the Brown's". And Rotten Tomatoes hates it" blah-blah-blah! This movie sucks," but not to me! So I'm reviewing it! But why is it called "Shutter?"

Ben Shaw, I love that last name, and his new wife Jane leave New York for Tokyo. There in Japan, Ben has a job as a photographer. Didn't know American photographers were in high demand in Japan. While driving around in the Japanese winter, Jane hits a girl wearing a thin dress. Not only do she hits her, she running over her with both wheels and runs into a ditch. Female drivers, run the car up a tree like a real man!  After regaining consciousness, they find there was no body or even a trace of blood on either the car or the road. Yeah that was the cleanest hit and run of all time! They decide to leave, thinking the victim was all right. I hope she ran over an otaku who loves lolicon. But thinking of my luck it was a Dragonball fan.

Now I get it! They call it Shutter because that girls dress look like they need to be placed on shutter door windows.

Ben and Jane start to find mysterious lights in their photos. Seiko, Ben's assistant said the lights are spirits. Awesome, the mystical asian mumbo jumbo still applies in movies. Jane begins to have dreams and visions as if they are trying to tell her something. I hope one of them is you riding over someone. She also senses a presence stalking them. Pfff, women what do they know? Ben begins to complain of severe shoulder pain, and his friends begin to comment he's looking bent and hunched over. Glad to see his friends are concerned with good posture. My friends just want me exercise. The fools. Benny boy goes to the doctor and he finds no cause of it. But oddly enough he's gained an extra stomach because he's 100 pounds heavier. Enough of that goose shit, where's sexy Seiko at? Seiko takes Jane to her ex-boyfriend, Ritsuo, and who is clearly Korean. Whatever budget, God forbid they hire a Japanese actor while filming in Japan. Ritsuo just so happens investigates paranormal activities. He tells them that the lights are spirits, manifestations of intense emotions trying to communicate. I'm gonna call bullshit on that. If that was true, every white person in the southern state would have bright ass spots in their pictures.'s a slavery reference, keep up!

At a subway station, Jane spots the ghostly presence of the girl she hit. Now I get it, Shutter is the doors on a train that open and close like a Shutter! Genius! Jane is scared shitless now because she believes that she killed the girl. Well you did tackle her with a car. Ben is also getting toyed with in his dark room. The pictures turn into a bitchin' Dir En Grey video. ...they move and scare him...Dir En Grey is a great band look them up. Ben and Jane then go to a medium named Murase. How about going to the police and confess your crime?! That's a ghost of guilt. White people! Murase tells them the deal in Japanese but Ben refuses to translate what Murase says, claiming he is a fraud. Jane doesn't question this like any woman would!

Now I get it. Shutter is a metaphor for the truth, it opens and shuts like a Shutter! Damn the Japanese are awesome! 

Later on Jane decides to visit the office building in one of the photos. I hate women's intuition, it ruins perfect marriages, be happy with the lie!  So how she found the building in fucking Tokyo without an address the world may never know, that must have been a 5 day search. She goes to the floor where the light has gathered, and takes pictures in the empty office. Because the Japanese let a foreigner take random pictures in an empty office building. She encounters the ghost, not sure how that worked. She learns that the girl's name was Megumi Tanaka. And as a twist Ben knew her. When she confronts Ben about it, he admits that he and Megumi were once involved in a relationship.

Ha! I really wanna know how that feels. For black women its losing to a white chick. I'm sure the same is with white girls losing to an Asian chick.

Anyway Ben and Megumi were a nice little item. He was bland and she was decent worker bee Japanese girl. But Megumi's father died and everything changed. She became very obsessive and clingy. Because Ben doesn't know how to deal with shit or have a single human emotion, he dumps her. All this with help from his two friends. The guy needed help? It's called a text message! He gets by with a little help from his friends Adam and Bruno, those are two names destined for porn or a gay couple. Well Megumi gets really busy with them. Adam's eye is torn out while shooting pictures and he dies from shock. Pussy, the guy from Pirates of the Carribean is more badass then you and I'm sure he got a sabre to the eye!

Shit's going down. 

Speaking of which Ben and Jane see Bruno commit suicide by jumping from his apartment. And when we see his body he's naked. I see now, Megumi fucked him to death...or out the window. After all of this Ben wants to leave Japan. And why not? My best friends bit the dust and an angry Japanese ghost lady is fucking with us! But Jane being a (grunt) fucking woman says: "We're not going anywhere" and hands Ben their wedding photo. We see in the right hand side a distorted  Megumi. Now I get it. Shutter means "you can't shut out Megumi's everlasting love." Brillant! Just sayng if I'm ghost in a picture I'd jailhouse pose.

It's apparent that Megi-chan has been with them the entire time. So they go to Megumi's home, only to find her decayed body? The fuck? How did no one smell her? 16 million people in Tokyo and no one smelled her? It looks like she'd committed suicide with potassium cyanide. That night Ben is tortured by Megumi. She appears in different places around the room and climbs onto the bed. This would get me off, but my boner hates dead chicks. She straddles Ben taking off her dress, and  revealing her inhuman body. Sexy. She then proceeds to follow him around the room where she lets her tongue out , which is long as fuck and forces it into Ben's mouth, kissing him. If your getting off, bravo. She releases a swarm of flies in his mouth that almost choke him. Jane wakes up and screams at Megumi to leave Ben and her alone. Lady she's a ghost, yelling doesn't work. Grab a bible or call the Ghostbusters. Jane screams "He left you because he never loved you". Megumi rightfully stops with a brief sinister laugh, leaving Ben alive.

After Megumi's funeral, gotta say at least they went. Ben and Jane return to New York, thinking it's all over. Me too but the movie said we've still got 10 minutes left. However, Jane finds some recent photos in an envelope which still show Megumi, who is crawling toward a picture of Jane hanging on the wall. Jane goes into the room behind the picture and finds a camera in a trunk. And what happens is the biggest "are you fucking serious?" in this movie. She uploads the memory card into the laptop Jane sees more photos taken by Ben. And then, boom Adam and Bruno running train on Megumi before her suicide. All with Ben watching. Damn, I hate my ex but I wouldn't want my friends to rape her. Wait a second! Why did he keep that memory card and not flush down the toliet after you killed a chick!

Kudos to the Tokyo PD for not following up on the cause of death. 

Jane wants answers Ben gives answer that would make the Joker say "huh?" He felt it was the only way to drive Megumi away, as nothing else was working. By fucking rape! A gun to the head would have worked! They'd used some pills and had planned on using the pictures as blackmail against Megumi if she didn't leave him alone but it turned into rape. Love how it "just so happened" to turn to rape! Once again, WHAT THE FUCK TOKYO PD AND CORONER'S OFFICE?! This explains why Ben didn't want to translate what the medium said and why Megumi murdered Adam and Bruno. Ben knew this was about revenge against all three of them and didn't even try to lie to his wife about it. Jane says that Megumi was trying to warn her. I dunno about that, she seemed happy terrorizing both of you. Jane says that she doesn't want to spend her life with Ben and leaves. Ben tries to stop her, but Megumi locks the door and doesn't let him leave.

Ben begins photographing the apartment with his Polaroid camera, looking to confront her. After throwing the camera across the room, it takes a picture of him, showing Megumi sitting on his shoulders. Ben realizes that Megumi has been with him all along since her suicide without his knowledge. That's why he's been having shoulder and weight issues. So he tries to get rid of her the Green Mile way. By fucking electrocuting himself. WTF! Stimpy wouldn't do something that stupid dumb ass, she's a ghost! Later we see a catatonic Ben at a mental institution, where he is shown sitting slumped over on the edge of his bed. In a mirror we see Megumi still draped over his back. Most fucked up episode of Sailor Moon ever!

This movie isn't the best, but it's one of my favorites because it's fun to riff on. The pacing is decent and there are some genuinely scary parts. The problem is Ben from jump street is such an asshole and Jane is such a dopey bitch you wanna slap her. It is stupid but its a movie that I can enjoy for the dumb shit but also for the good the film has.

Now I get it. Shutter like a camera shutter! ...not that cleaver.

3BlackGeeks Ratings-
Dee- C+
Posted on October 12, 2012 .