Child's Play 3

DjTsu tells me this is when the series went down hill and I say, it wasn't a far trip! The first one's an origin story, makes sense. The second one, "oh you thought it was over!?" I get it. This one is ..."had to complete the trilogy!" So here we are.  A movie eight years into the the movies story line . This movie was made not even a full year later! The other name of the movie is

"Child's Play 3: Look Who's Stalking?
Fuck you Don Mancini!

Eight years, Good Guys has recovered from bad publicity arising from Chucky's murder spree. Wait so the world thought that Andy killed those people or the doll? Whatever, that's the least of my problems. The company releases a new line of Good Guy dolls and recycles Chucky's remains. How green of them, but the soul of Chucky is stuck in the..plastic? Wait, he died! Twice! How the hell can he live? Chucky is back in a Good Guy doll. Same model dolls as in 1987! Play Pals' CEO Mr. Sullivan, is the first to be elaborately killed. Love how Chucky yells "Don't fuck with the Chuck!" I like to imagine Charles Barkley screamed that after a dunk.  So by way of '91 internet; I'm not calling it 1998 because this movie thinks we're stupid! He finds records to relocate Andy Barclay now played by Justin Whalin; there nothing good about what you do or who you are!

Seeing how this world believes and yet doesn't believe Andy's story, the Military School is there to straighten Andy out. I mean God forbid jail or a psych ward! Train the alleged killer to shoot a fucking gun. Fucking Bush administration! Colonel Cochran the school's commandant, begrudgingly enrolls Andy. Then tells him to forget his "fantasies" about the doll. Fair enough but they have war games at Military Schools, I'm sure that won't trigger anything. The fuck am saying? I know he's not a killer, but fucking Chucky is! Lucky for me this school is full of stereotypes. So easy to write; Ronald is the little black kid cadet, Harold the geeky follows orders cadet, Kristin the one who for no reason wants to juggle Andy's balls, and Brett the bully! I'm sorry lieutenant bully, gotta recognize rank bitch.

Well I forgot about Chucky, where does he fit into all of this? Ronald is asked to deliver a package to Andy's room. When he finds out its a Good Guy he steals it and takes it to the cellar. Chucky scares the shit outta the kid and figures out something. He can possess the first person who learns his true nature. You killed him already! He tells Ronald his secret, but just as Chucky is about to possess him, they are interrupted by Cochran. Okay why did he stop?! It's not like playing golf, just keep going! Cochran takes Chucky away and throws him into a garbage truck. But check this shit out, he gets the truck drivers assistance; lures the driver into the truck's compactor and crushes him. Cool death but like most shit in a Chucky movie it seems dumb! That night, Chucky attacks Andy and tells him his plans for taking over Roland's soul. Why tell him?! Team Rocket doesn't do dumb shit like this! But Shelton comes in and takes Chucky from him. Andy tries to get the doll back by sneaking into Shelton's room. ...Why?! Let Chucky win! He hasn't so far, he'll just fuck it up like always. Shelton wakes up and catches Andy. Seeing that Chucky vanished, Shelton suspects it stolen. So he punishes all the cadets to do exercises in the courtyard.

Andy tries to warn Ronald about Chucky, but Roland is too fucking simple! Chucky even gets Ronald into playing hide-and-seek in Cochran's office and he attempts to possess Roland again. But, they are interrupted by De Silva and, moments later, Cochran himself.  Child's Play 3- Caught 2,876,578 times! When the cadets leave, Cochran is confronted by a knife-wielding Chucky and has a fatal heart attack. Chucky says "You gotta be shitting me." (Cue T-800 in Terminator 3- "No. I am not shitting you.") Well the big chief died, do we mourn him? Nope! War Games! With Team Andy vs. Team Shelton. What? I got no jokes for that. Now Chucky secretly replaces the paint bullets of one team with live ammunition. Two things, 1.NO! In war games they use paint guns but not stock rifles like that!! And 2, if they did have rifles like that, the rifles would explode because they were made not to fire. Also, just so happens that all those bullets fit the rifles? I could bitch more, but the movie has been made already!

When the simulation begins, Chucky for some reason again finds Ronald, then threatens him. Ronald stabs Chucky with a pocket knife and runs. Congrats Ronald, you did more than any one's done in nearly three movies! Ronald tries to find Andy. Andy and Kristen are busy trying to force this love story. Chucky then attacks Kristen and holds her hostage. Once again a doll shorter than a midget has someone 5'7 as a hostage! Chuck lures the teams into fighting each other to save her. Chucky forces Andy to exchange Kristen for Roland. Suddenly, the red team storms in and fire killing Shelton. Of all of the death scenes in these movies...this one was stupid. It was like no point to killing him. Why not other cadets, I felt nothing with that kid dying so it was pointless to make him a character in the first place! Roland makes a getaway, and Chucky tosses a live grenade at the cadets. Whitehurst bravely leaps on top of the grenade and sacrifices himself to save the others. Honorable thing to do, I would have run personally.

Andy heads off to Chucky, with Kristen close behind. Call the cops! The chase ends at a haunted house at a nearby carnival. Ronald tries to get a security guard to help him, but Chucky kills the guard off screen and kidnaps Ronald. When the catch up to Chucky, he shoots Kristen in the leg. Funny how Chucky is a God of Death but always spares the lead female.  When Roland is knocked out, Chucky has the opportunity to possess him. But Andy shoots him several times. All it does is piss off Chuck. And he goes back to his roots and strangles Andy. But lucky for Andy he had Roland's knife and cuts off Chucky's hand, dropping him into a giant fan which slices him to pieces. Convieniant! Afterwards, Andy is taken away by the police for questioning, but ensures Kristen that he will be okay, as he's "dealt with them before". Ha! They're gonna lock you up, 25 to Life Andy! Kristen is taken to the nearby hospital and...I have no idea what happens to Roland.

It's cause he's black.

This movie was soooooooooooooo dull to me. The death scenes were uninspired and everyone was flat. I didn't care about anyone in this film. Well lucky for me "Bride of Chucky" is next! At least I can jack it to Jennifer Tilly's..................voice. You thought I was gonna say breast? Didn't you Squidward?

3BlackGeeks Rating-
Dee- D+
DjTsu- C
Cj- C+
Posted on October 18, 2012 .