Child's Play 1

First off, Fuck you Arris Dejuan Waterman! The prick I just named is my best friend and Podcast partner DjTsu. Why bust out his goverment like that? Because I hate Child's Play. Since we can't make videos together or podcast on this subject we put it on hold. The second I made my blogging a form of covering a movie, here come this bastard. "Hey Dee, sup with that Child's Play son?" ...I...I hate him.

Anyway, Child's Play. A story about killer doll. I have to say the 80's actually gave a fuck with different ways to scare us. Its like the 80's horror movies and the VHS industry was on fire. I could remember walking into my local Video Rental/VCR Repair place and seeing so many horror movies. Oh yeah and classic schlock. Child Play's of all these movies never scared me. So I never gave a shit. But it's October, I gotta pad it out somehow.

We go to Chicago in '88. Somewhere Barack Obama is laying that wood to a young Michelle Obama, or a white woman. Let's keep it real. Mike Norris, a homicide detective is chasing serial killer Charles Lee Ray played by a homeless man. I mean Brad Dourif. Ray is also known as "Chucky" "The Lakeshore Strangler" and "C Diddy". He's shot and mortally wounded, knowing he cannot escape. Ray runs inside an old toy store and falls on a stack of "Good Guy" dolls. Imagine "My Buddy" but no wants one. He uses a voodoo chant to transfer his soul into one of the dolls. Lightning then strikes the store and sends Norris flying across it. We then see Charles dead next to the doll.

So after that we meet the Barclay's. 6-year-old Andy and his mom Karen. Andy wants a Good Guy doll for his birthday. But Karen can't afford the doll at full price. So like any good parent she buys that shit off the street. I know its the 80's in the big city but that was convenient. Oh yeah, get use to that word to, there's a lot of "just so happens" and "convenient" shit that happens.

So Andy get his present and then the doll introduces himself as "Chucky". Oh no...I wonder if that is Charles Lee Ray in doll form? Karen's friend, Maggie Peterson, who is babysitting Andy, scolds him for turning on the evening news and placing Chucky in front of the TV. Andy tries to deny this as he was brushing his teeth right before the tv turned on. She doesn't believe him and sends him to bed. I wonder who did it? Something is playing with Maggies emotions. After hearing something in the kitchen, Maggie is popped with a  hammer and falls out of the kitchen window, falling several stories to her death. Damn...this scene is very poorly edited. Check it out!

Andy, is questioned by Mike Norris, because he's the only homicide cop in fucking Chicago! Chucky tells Andy that he killed Maggie and he'll kill Andy if he rats. That's pointless for two reasons. Why reveal yourself and two, so what if he tells the cops. No one will believe him! The next day, Andy skips school with Chucky and takes a subway train to the house of Eddie Caputo his getaway driver, who had left him to die. Chucky sneaks into the house, turn the gas up on the stove. After Eddie discovers that Charles is in the house, he panics and fires his gun in the kitchen and the house explodes. Yeah, another word for Chucky's style of killing is "elaborate". And very elaborate seeing how he was a strangler.

With all these unexplained shenanigans the cops put Andy in a psychiatric ward. Karen discovers Andy was telling the truth after discovering that the included batteries in the Good Guy doll box were never put inside the "working" doll.  And in a very cartoonish scene Chucky comes alive in her hands yells explectives at her, bites her, and runs out of the apartment. Okay how can a doll overpower her, she's 4 times it's size. A pitch right into the fireplace would have ended this!  She tells Norris and they find the man who sold her the doll. He confirms to Mike that he got it from the burnt down store. Then the homeless guy tries to rape her but Norris stops it. Even more wacky was Chucky attacking Norris in the car. This movie is losing me.

Chucky meets up with John Simonsen his voodoo instructor showing off his new body. Chucky then asks why is he bleeding. John informs him that his body is slowly transforming to that of a human's and will soon become entirely flesh and blood, trapping him within it. Ahh, cool twist. John refuses to help Chucky. Just so happens that the priest has a pre-prepared Chucky voodoo doll  and tortures him. John admits Chucky can escape the dolls body if he transfers his soul into the body of the first person he revealed himself to. Then he clowns Chucky about it and Chucky kills him.

So Karen and Norris, find a dying John and he tells them how to kill Chucky. Knowing that Chucky is coming. Somehow Andy escapes from the psychiatric unit. Sucky as hell security. Chucky brutally kills a doctor with an electroshock machine. Mike and Karen rush back to the apartment hoping that Andy is there. But Chucky reaches the apartment before them and knocks Andy unconscious with a baseball bat. Okay, how the hell is Chucky outrunning these two?? And Andy for that matter! As he was doing the ritual to transfer his soul to Andy. Norris and Karen bust in the door and Chucky gets chucked into the fireplace. Andy lights a match and ignite the fireplace, ultimately burning Chucky alive.

As Norris is being cared for and Andy getting a first aid kit from under the sink, he discovers Chucky is gone. Then outta no where a burnt up ass Chucky chases Andy and Karen in the bedroom. Karen shoots him several times, missing his heart, but scattering his head, an arm, and a leg in the hallway. Man, Chucky won't give it up. More so Norris' partner arrives, the scattered doll parts attack him. Karen finally shoots Chucky in the heart. Mike does so and makes a direct hit, killing Chucky. The End.

This movie was wacky. I understand suspension of disbeilef and in a sense it's not that bad. But by the third act your like fuck that, this is stupid. Some of these deaths are ok. The animatronics on Chucky weren't excellent but not bad. A lot of this movie should have been trimed down but not bad. Happy now DjTsu? 1 down 4 to go you buttlicker!

3BlackGeeks Ratings-
Dee- C
CJ- B+
DjTsu- B-
Posted on October 15, 2012 .