You know, after that scene it becomes apparent that this was one of those books that should have stayed a book. This not taking away from the book its just, that shit may have translated better in written form. This movie has given me a powerful scene with Beah Richards and then somehow shot it in the head with the turtles having sex. I know there is some arthouse asshole who understands and may even praises this scene. I get that but...you can't do that! You can't do that! You can't just mix those two things and then except the viewer to understand that shit.
Enough of my rant, what next? Outside of Paul and Sethe fucking again, you know for two 40 year old former slaves they love sex. I understand why but do we have to see it! Beloved is working her Satan magic on Paul D. Paul is sleeping longer and waking up in different places. He's even has fits of none sleep. Not sure but I think its Beloved. Paul D decide to sleep in the shed then Beloved enters. Paul already doesn't want to be around her and tells her to leave. That's when we see one of the greatest hairiest vagina's in cinematic history. Beloved flashing what looks to be an all black Furby says "I want you to come inside me and say my name" all in a sexy Handi-Man voice. So I guess Paul just fucks her and says her name. ...I have no joke for that. This movie just hates me. Paul is having a tough time dealing with the fact he fucked the hottest retard of all time. But he takes it in stride. Even kindly posing with Sethe for the cover of the DVD. Paul is singing at work and feels good. He talks with Stamp who just so happens to work with him. Stamp gives him a news clipping about a young Sethe. Now, he just so happened to carry this clipping for years? Why? What was his reasoning? Anyway he gives it to Paul and Paul talks to Sethe.
Sethe tells Paul about that day. Sethe was loving her new free life in Ohio. But since she was a runaway slave shit was gonna go down. One day her former Master Schoolteacher (what the fuck did he teach?) and his sons (who raped her and...ugg...took her milk) were with him. Sethe freaks out and grabs her 4 kids. Instead of hiding in silence she starts screaming hysterically. It's funny all runaway slaves were taught to be quite! Harriet Tubman would have shot her in the face! As Schoolteacher and the boys made it to the shed. They open to the door to see Sethe slinging baby Denver like a rag doll. Despite Stamp saving Denver, Beloved was already dead. ...I saw a dead baby...yet "I'm too old for this shit" ass is still horrifying me! Lucky Sethe didn't cut her sons throats deep enough, so they lived. Schoolteacher left and Beah Richards tries to save this movie again. Sethe did it for love saying she rather her kids be dead then be a slave. Okay true, but its crueler to kill them! So Paul leaves the movie, and I wanna join him. I love how Sethe has this look of "I killed my kid, but can we still fuck?" Sethe later that night Sethe sees a scar on Beloved's neck, while Beloved was sleeping...and... okay, I gotta say this. Beloved while not acting like a crazed retard acts like someone is rubbing her G-spot. Its creepy as shit. So instead of asking "how is this fucking possible", don't worry, I'll do that. "How is that fucking possible!" She's on cloud 9 knowing her Beloved is back. Even over sleeping and losing her job.
So while no longer employed she spends all of her stash money on junk food, crap to design the house with and dolls. All three of our women are having fun, celebrating life. And I've seen heavy flow maxi-pads that could use this padding! Slowly the money disappears and Sethe can't please Beloved after there's no sweets. Beloved goes full on ape shit from here to the end of the film. There's no spoiler in that by saying that by the way. So from Winter to Spring, Beloved is tormenting Sethe. I gotta say for a chick who is slowing going into dementia, Sethe is taking it all in stride. But not Denver, she even shots Beloved the famous Kimberly Elise "evil black woman stare o' death" at her.
It's the scariest thing in this movie. I can say this, it's scaring the sex scenes the hell out of my dreams.
After being tormented herself, Denver with the help of ...ghost Baby Suggs? She leaves to look for a job. Oh yeah before she leaves we she Beloved popping Sethe upside the head like 5 times. Ha! See in a long ass movie you have to find the little things to be happy about. So while Denver is looking for help, there is a large out pouring of help to her and her family. Even gaining a job helping her old teacher. After some padding Denver gets a job at a nice white folks house. The lady who hooked Denver up with the job is worried about that overacting hell spawn living in Sethe's house. So she talks with the...i dunno, Cincinnati Black Church Ladies Union #506. And they all agree to do something about it. Including Irma P Hall. I'm not being a smart ass, that's Irma, why your not shocked that she's in this? So on the day Denver is leaving for her new job, the Ohio Ladies Mass Choir shows up in front of Sethe's house.
Now how will they exercise the demon? By spouting out bible verses, crying, singing the first 7 words of a spiritual and good ol' Negro humming. That's right, tell Father Karras and Merrin to go fuck off. I joke but I was raise around bullshit like. Its not moving but its done well. With all this noise Sethe runs out the house with...naked... pregnant...Beloved. Hairy Cooter and all. Okay, did Paul get her knocked up? What weight does that leave on this movie! And does she have to be completely naked? Explain shit movie! Just then Denver's new boss shows up confused. Understatement! Sethe still delirious thinks that its Schoolteacher and races to him with an ice pick. But the sisters stop her and I'm gonna say pray over her with the help of Denver. This cause Beloved to scream and she disappears. Wait, all it took was a gangbang prayer! One prayer! Nothing more? Why built up a ghost story like this and not explain or anything! We get that Beloved is the reincarnation of her baby, but why is she grown, why did she sleep with Paul D? You know what...no more questions. So after that Denver meets up with Paul while going to work. She tells him that her mom has gone off the deep end. We end it with Paul and Sethe talking about, I don't care! Then we get Baby Suggs because the movie hates me and it's not long enough to please Oprah! Suggs during her sermons saying "Love yourself" or some shit. The End.
..................... . You, it's a movie like this that makes me question my logic. I have no education in film, but I know good film making when I see it. I do have a passion for writing but not conventional education. I struggle with rating movies because everyone who knows me says I'm very critical, like I hate everything I see. I don't. I love movies. I even love bad movies. At the end of the day, I give every movie a chance. So these are my true feelings.
I hate this movie. I hate it. I'm sure, fuck that, I know for a fucking fact the book is better! Not only that, this movie should have never been made. Just because it was a great book doesn't mean you need to make it a movie. Look at some of the Stephen King movies and miniseries. I hated the overly artistic themes. The padding on top of padding, its's like the movie is forcing you to watch it like it shapes this plot! I hate what was lost. The ghost story could have been better if more focus was put upon it instead of everything else. The acting is incredible from everyone and some of the themes and atmosphere is nice. But it goes to shit because your eyes are tried and the movie has this arrogance about it like it can take it's time. And shame on you for not liking it. A great example of a long good movie I love, Malcolm X. In every scene shit happened, no down time. The only down time I can say was when Betty and Malcolm were talking but it was building up the character. Spike Lee made that movie air tight on 1/3 of Beloved's budget. Oh yeah the movie cost 80,000,000 dollars. Wow, Oprah gets that much in a month I know but, where was it at? All the actors not counting Oprah, plus the things I seen in this movie I'd say about 21 million. And here's the best part, the icing on the cake and I remember Oprah saying this too! Oprah said the movie failing was the worst moment in her career. She was so depressed she claim to eat 30 pounds of Mac and Cheese after she learned they lost to the "Bride of Chucky" ...Hahaha, no surprise, it was a far superior film! Oprah said "It was the only time in my life that I was ever depressed, and I recognized that I (was) depressed because I've done enough shows (on the topic). 'Oh, this is what people must feel like who are depressed." Ha, you know as a person who lost his car, job, apartment, and way of living in a span of half a year and woke up and still made shit work. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Fuck you! Fuck your long winded pretentious piece of shit of a movie! Fuck your fans for crying for you after you pushed this piece of shit no one seen it! To my readers I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll promise to give you a "Real" horror movie. I wanted to surprise people and myself but it didn't work.
Who Cares It Sucks!!!