Strike Commando

As I got back into Mystery Science Theater 3000, I noticed that one episode people loved, that was "Space Mutiny" starring Reb Brown. Reb Brown is a B Movie legend and is very proud of that fact. He was a big "what if" guy. His acting and look wasn't on par with Arnold and Stallone but somehow he fleshed out a career and a decent wife. The chick he boned in Space Mutiny is his wife! So I will be reviewing these movies on my blog. Now I love Reb, and some corny B movie schlock but some are really bad. This one isn't...bad. Ok it is, but Reb is so badass he soaks it up like cornbread in soup.

The first is Strike Commando. This movie is "the" Reb Brown movie. Ironically it was made by one of the most notoriously bad directors Bruno Mattai. So I'm just gonna say this now. This movie is a rip off of Rambo 2, elephant in the room has been exposed and discussed.... let's move on.

The movie starts off in Nam bitches! And at least 40% of Reb Brown's movies start off there. Reb plays Sgt. Michael Ransom, he and his team of "Strike Commando" are sneaking into a Vietnamese base ready to lay a few explosives. The major plays up Ransom as a badass, also the other Strike Commandos. Colonel Radek(Christopher Connelly) who looks like a mix of Nick Nolte and Gary Busey, watches on. After one of the commando is caught and killed everything goes batshit. The "dinner bell" slash "someone infiltrated our base" bell is ringing and Asian extras pour from the barracks. The commands are leaving but Colonel Radek calls for the explosives be set off. Despite the team only having one minute to go. Radek says "The mission, always the mission". Ransom mows down a few guys before one of the explosives kill one of Ransom's soldiers. Ransom eats one of the explosives and is blown into a river.

Ransom drifts unconscious in the river and is picked up. He repeats a scene that was in Beyond Thunderdome and runs out of a hut screaming. Seeing how it's Reb, its comedy in a nutshell. He gets treated and nursed back to health by the locals. That was nice of them seeing how America wants to turn Nam into a WalMart parking lot. He talks to a retired French solider named LeDue(Luciano Pigozzi). FYI, Pigozzi will be in another Reb Brown movie, "Yor: Hunter of the Future". LeDue says the village used to be a  french church until the Viet Cong kept attacking. This gets Ransom interested to look around. Come to find out there is a Russian presence in Nam. So like every movie that takes place in Nam, and theres a hulking white American, Ransom agrees to take the Vietnamese village people to safety. Where to, I have no idea. As they come across a decomposed died soldier who has a radio. So how Ransom had a few D battaries on him and turned on the radio. I really don't know how the radio still worked. It looked like shit. But it's Reb Brown, he's jesus.

Ransom calls his home base and everyone is shocked that he lived. Radek then tells Ransom the rendez-vous point where helicopter will pick him up. Ransom then very bluntly tells them he wants justice for his fallen commando's. Kinda on the level of telling your parents to pick you up and follow it up by telling them to go fuck themselves. The villagers make camp for the night and this gives Ransom one on one time with the kid that saved him. The boy talks about the stories he heard of America. Even a wonderful place where Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck live. Ransom tells the kid about Disneyland and out right lies about this place saying that popcorn and ice cream grows on trees. All while this movie version of Cho smiles and agrees. I guess its touching.

The next day, the group crosses the river and runs into an ambush. This results in Reb yelling which is pure comedy. Come to find out its a nearby patrol boat. So Ransom and LeDue hit these guys from both sides.  Ransom decides to go into the river and take down the boat. LeDue doubles back behind a flanking group of VC's and takes them out with a grenade. Ransom dumps at least 6 grenades in one boat. One grenade, two at the most was all you needed! As you see, the grenades have no rules!
Later, the village people still make their retreat out of the jungle. While LeDue stops to have his fifth heart attack/stroke/asthma attack then chases it with a hit of rum. He's rear naked choke held by a hulking Russian solider. Ransom running behind finds LuDue dead and finds a Russian patch symbol torn from the soldiers uniform. The fucking Russians are behind it all! Don't be shocked it's an 80's flick. The Russian soldiers are in search of the village people. This sucks for them because Reb eats Russians! He kills them off one by one, but he's way out numbered and he retreats. Lucky for him he was near his LZ, without using a map or compass! All these VC's spring outta nowhere and attack him, but Ransom takes them out. So besides a group of refugees being around Rambo, this is the end of Rambo 2.  Radek commands the helicopter to pick up retreat to base, but Ransom's major is able to talk the soldier into picking him up anyway.

Ransom is pisses which means Reb is high pitched and bat shit. Ransoms major is able to calm him down. Ransom agrees to volunteer to go back and take pictures of a Russian presence in Vietnam. Yeah, Rambo 2. Ransom goes back to Vietnam but finds the village people have been slaughtered. Well we need someone to give Ransom a reason to kill, and who better then that kid who knew perfect English. The boys dying wish is for Ransom to tell him more things about Disneyland. Reb starts crying which makes me die laughing. Sadly the boy dies and we get the most famous scream in Reb Brown's career. JAKODA!!! I want that as a alarm on my phone.

Ransom is ultra pissed and mugs a VC and he tells him where to find Jakoda. After he drops the VC like a penny out of your pocket, he fires at the village with his stolen M60 machine gun. Yelling Jaaaaa-kooooo-daaaaaa! So he stops to reload and Jakoda finds Ransom. Ok seriously, what was the point of firing an entire clip into the jungle for no reason? And if Jakoda never showed up would he  have kept firing? Anyway, Jakoda is able to talk Ransom into surrendering by holding a civilian hostage. Ransom's superiors find out that there are Russians in there and that now he is going to be tortured. They brutally torture Ransom by having him do yard work, beating him, electrifying him, and burning his back with a blow torch.  After spending months in a cell with a corpse, Ransom breaks and rapes the corpse. Nah, just fucking with you, he agrees to make a demoralizing radio broadcast. Now with all the torture he don't look sick or weak. Meh, Reb Brown is awesome. While giving the radio message he flips on the Russians and ends up killing a few sentries. Ransom takes Jakoda's girlfriend Olga hostage, he is able to kill some of the soldiers using Olga as bait. He then radios Radek to bring another chopper to pick him up. Then Reb is on Jon Matrix mode just laying out a group of soldiers. When Ransom and Olga reach the pick up point,Olga says that they will not pick up Ransom but kill him. Ransom rolls his eyes at Olga as the chopper flies by but kills Olga. Ha! Ransom is able to gun down one of the gunmen and the helicopter retreats. Ransom then comes across an army boat and dives in to go kill some more soldiers. He drops another cluster of grenades when a VC sneaks up on him and strangles him. After a small back and forth Ransom is able to stab him and dives out. Yelling "Our father who art in heaven!"  And boom goes the ship.

Ransom comes back to the shore and kills a Russian soldier. Jakoda big boots the fuck outta Ransom. Jakoda then challenges Ransom in a fight. Jakoda must love Bronson cuz he's got a "Death Wish"! ...sorry, shitty joke. Ransom and Jakoda have a pretty brutal fight. Not the best but when you seen the "King of Fighters" movie, this shit is "Enter the Dragon". After Jakoda yelling "Mother Russia!" and Ransom yells "Pepsi and MTV!" they straight up charge into a headbutt like two rams. Gotta say that was awesome. Ransom gets the best of Jakoda and punches him into a random ass waterfall, that just so happens to be there. Well Ransom yells in triumph and somewhere an American flag caught a boner. Ransom finds his way back to base and is enraged and looking for Radek. So much like in Rambo he lights up Radek's office with a fucking machine gun. Ransom's major who just showed the fuck up says that Radek has gone AWOL. But all hope isn't lost. One of the generals finds out where Radek is hiding and kindly tells them.

Now they say Manila today. I don't remember it saying when the other stuff took place. Well lets say a year later Radek has actually become a importer/exporter in Manila. Ransom arrives at the building where Radek is at, and goes to the front desk lady. He then lays a 2-minute grenade on the ash tray on the desk. It's a regular grenade...two minutes? The lady then alerts all the people in the building to arm up. Even the lady takes out an AK. Radek receives the call that Ransom is there for his ass. The look on Radek's face is priceless, it's one of the best "oh shit" faces of the 80's. Ransom roams the halls of the building using his M60 and mows down all the men. Kinda like Chuck Norris in "Invasion USA". He then loads a grenade on his gun and fires at Radek, blowing him up. Yes a rip off but how can you hate seeing someone eating a blast from a grenade launcher. Ransom then leaves the building, but he finds that Jakoda is back and that he has got a pair of metal teeth from their last fight. Okay, how did Jakoda find him. Who gave him those teeth? Baron Underbite makes more sense. Anyway Jakoda tackles Ransom, but Ransom puts a grenade in Jakoda's mouth. One of those regular grenades not the 2 minute ones. The grenade stuck in Jadoka's teeth he explodes, leaving only his metal teeth behind and the echo of Jakoda screaming, Amerikanski! Reb does his halfway goofy laugh/Arnold one liner voice and walks off.

Strike Commando makes me happy. This is coming from guy who loves the silliness of Commando, the action of Rambo, and how the 80's gave us great action movies. To bad only countries like Japan, Korea, and half of Pacific Asia saw these. Americans only seen so much of Reb and it's a shame. Sure he sucks at acting and he has bad one liners. But somehow Rebecca Black got famous.

3BlackGeeks Rating
Dee- C
Posted on September 10, 2012 .