Bio-Broly


Me and the boys are doing podcast on Dragonball Z. My favorite anime of all time. I love the show, the movies are hit or miss but still they're side stories that shouldn't be taken seriously right? Bullshit! DBZ fans have ways of proving shit happened. Movies like "The Reutrn of Cooler" , "The Fusion Movie", "Broly the Legendary Super Saiyan", "Bojack Unbounded", hell even my boy DjTsu defends that "The Android movie" happened in the story line! Cj counts Tein vs Trunks in the Bojack movie as cannon. DBZ fans love to do this shit. But there is one movie we all stay away from. The third Broly movie- "Bio-Broly".

This isn't gonna be a review. Just questions that will never be answered. If you defend or logically try to answer these questions, Fuck you! Dragonball and logic never go together, thats fair to say - not common logic of people, powers or even the damn story line, but this movie takes common logic and then rapes it like Jodie Foster aganist a pinball machine and has to nerve to sell it on a Girls Gone Wild DVD! So get ready for questions!


Why is this movie being made? The last movie came out during the Saiya-Man Saga, was there a really a big rush for another rushed slapped together movie?
 #18 is trying to get money out Mr. Satan while Krillin waits outside also Goten and Trunks are looking on. Why?
If this happened during the Majin Buu saga, then the world is being terrorized by Majin Buu and Krillin should be out of this movie. Mr. Satan has left the tourny because he's just witnessed Majin Vegeta kill thousands. So instead of ducking for safety, #18 and Mr. Satan are doing a comedy bit? Why?
Why doesn't Mr. Satan have any security at his house? Goten and Trunks stowaway in the trunk of the car but open the trunk again to view the sea and other things.
Why does no one see the trunk being opened?
Why doesn't anyone sitting in the backseat hear two kids laughing and talking?
Why is Jaguar building Bio Warriors?
If his ultimate plan is to expose Mr. Satan as a phoney then why not with only one instead of an army? If its for world domonation, why? He owns an island. He's won!
These bio warriors, how were they made and by who? A nameless doctor and his hot daughter?
Did the doctor work with Dr. Gero? The Red Ribbon Army at least? Why make these strong warriors for a rich midget who just wants to beat up Hulk Hogan? ...Why?


Why is the shamen in this movie? Is he the reason Broly is back? So that we have a connection?
How did he get the essence of Broly out of crystalized blood and not semen? Crystalized blood? That is bullshit!! BLOOD CAN'T DO THAT! Even so, Broly was zapped into nothing after taking 3 Kamehamha's to the body. So how did he even know if it was Broly's blood and not a deer's blood? Why the revenge? Goten and Trunks exposed you in that town, just go to the next town! You were smart enough to fool that village, try another one.
Why unleash an unstoppable force like Broly? What if he kills you? You did this for money, what if Broly destroys the world? You were smart enough to think that far ahead for money, wait! How did you know Jaguar wanted Broly's blood and not just anyone's? ...Why?



Jaugar named Broly as the "Legendary Super Saiyan." How did he know that? No one outside of Goku's circle knows what a saiyan is, let alone a "Legendary Super Saiyan!" In this world they know of the "Golden Haired Warriors" who fought Cell. Fair enough, but why unleash Broly? He wasn't even under your control.
Was Broly a robot? If so, why did he go into a murderous rage when he saw Goten and Trunks? So inside your blood is memories? How? Wait, Broly had a tail, but no dick. So how did that happen? Broly doesn't scream "Kakarotto" but knows who Trunks and Goten are?

The lab blows up...Why?


Back to Jaugar, I'm guessing he just knows what and who Broly is. So why re-make him? Satan can only beat up standard martial artists. One Bio Warrior punching Mr. Satan into the sky, recorded by 70 witnesses, you won! This plan makes less sense than all of the movie villains! Garlic Jr was fulfilling his father's wishes and wanted Kami dead. Wheelo wanted Goku's body in order to be powerful with the world's smartest brain. Turles was just doing business as usual. Lord Slug wanted to become young again. Cooler was finishing Freiza's work. Meta-Cooler...ok, that was just odd. #13 was programmed to kill Goku. Broly wanted Goku dead, in the second movie he heard Goten crying which reminded him of Goku and went batshit.  Bojack was unleashed and wanted to kill everything moving. Janemba was the embodiment of evil and wanted to fight. Heldigon was a evil monster unleashed on earth. Jaguar wanted to humiliate Mr. Satan because he lost one fight and made an army to take out one guy who could barely beat his dick with his hand was glued to it!? WWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY!?


Why is Trunks able to do a Kamehameha? He only trained with Vegeta! In the series he never pops one off! How does he know how to do that? Broly is incased in some type of goo. The scientist have no other way to stop him. Why not? Scientists run hundreds of "what if" scenarios during things like this. The most basic being "what if Broly goes bat shit while incased in the goo?" Why wasn't that on their list? The acid that melts all of the bio warriors never dropped on Broly, why doesn't a scientist tell Goten or Trunks to splash him with it? Why not tell the guys who are saving you that that's the way to stop him?
#18 is fucking useless. No question, just a statement.

The acid destroys everything in its path and the scientist has no idea how to stop it!? Why?
What was contaning it in the first place? Why damn it why?!?!
Whats with the Super Saiyan Glow around Krillin!? Where is Piccolo, Vegeta and Gohan? How the fuck is Goku dead? He's on earth at this point of DBZ cannon! You mean Goku of all people didn't feel the ki of Broly? Fuck that, where is Kaioshin? Where is Majin Buu? Majin Buu would have killed Broly in seconds during his tour of killing shit left and right.
So melting Broly in acid works but he comes back, 5x bigger than Godzilla, and encased in the acid. The essence kept him alive? What is it made out of? Do we all have it? Why did he have an essence so strong that it made him the size of Aries in the God of War video game? Why didn't the scientist test out fucking Sea water on the acid? Sea Salt would be one of the first 30 liquids he should have tested before just throwing that acid in a mason jar!
Why jerk off the auidence with a better idea of a movie? Broly in Hell, and only Goku & Pikkon can stop him! FUCK YOU! That statement was better than all of this movie! Wait, Goku isn't dead?! This movie took place before he turned Super Saiyan 3! Turning SSJ3 was the reason he went back to otherworld! Why was this movie made?! WWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY!?


I love Dragonball but this movie sucks! Besides the questions, its a boring movie. Yeah, lemme repeat that. A boring DRAGONBALL movie! Hell the episode with Mercenary Tao had more useful shit than this. I'd never seen this movie until July 25, 2012. I've been watching Dragonball Z since the fall of 1998! I listened to reason for 14 years! So if you've never seen this movie and like Dragonball, don't see it! Don't see it! And if you did, heres what you do. Drinking game. Everytime something not within DBZ logic happens, take a shot!

3BlackGeeks Rating-
Dee- F
Cj- F
DjTsu- F "really should we be even rating this movie?"

Check out our Podcast on the Saiyan Saga Fuckers!

Posted on August 29, 2012 .